Pilgrim's Ponderings

December 29 th , 2:25 am a young girl died in a Singapore hospital. Her family by her bedside the doctors says he died peacefully. She had spent 13 days battling for her life and undergoing various procedures and treatments. Through it all she kept asking to live. Eventually though she breathed her last. She breathed her last not realising that she had stirred a country out of its apathy. She breathed her last not realising the kind of emotions her story had evoked in the country and the capital. She breathed her last not knowing that the prime minister and politicians themselves would receive her body on its arrival back in India. She breathed her last now knowing that a police constable had given his life to try and bring peace in the situation that followed her story. She breathed her last not realising 10 delhi metro stations and the whole of central Delhi would have to be shutdown just contain the scenes that developed after her horror story. She probably struggled with feeling ...

It was a long two days. At 7am on Wednesday morning Emily and I rushed to the hospital to admit her for the delivery of our baby. It was a long 12 and half hour labour and after a lot of pain (all of which she went through) we had our gorgeous little Lana. A day later when they wanted to discharge us we had all the paperwork done and all the sign offs from the doctors that were needed. I went to make the payment and was really eager to get home and back to our son as well. That’s when it happened! The first ICICI card I gave didn’t work. So I gave a second one and that didn’t work either. I was getting quite exasperated by now and as a last effort I  gave Emily’s UK card, and that was rejected as well. They tried a few other machines and nothing seemed to work. I was so annoyed and found out where the nearest ATM was and proceeded to drive there. All the while in my mind I will admit I was grumbling to God… something about a last hurdle before finally heading home. When I rea...

The week leading up to my birthday is always a pensive one. It becomes a time to look back and do a lot of soul searching about the present. This last year has been a busy one on a lot of fronts. It has been a year where, as a family we have seen many needs left unmet and yet many other needs being amazingly taken care of. It has been a year where I encountered the untimely and unfortunate deaths of friends and yet a year spent praying for the new life in Emily’s womb that God gifted us with; a year of tiredness and yet a year of energy, a year of ending a few things and year of new beginnings; a year of failures and a year of successes. As I look book on what has been, the one thing that was assured and constant throughout was the incredible hand and presence of God on my every day. For that, I am and will always be thankful.

In the morning O Lord, in the morning You show your love to me. Your unfailing love opens my eyes And your inexplicable peace is what grants them sleep. You fill my heart with songs, You saturate my mind with awe at your work. Each ray of light reminds me of Your presence, And the warmth of them reminds me of Your love. You have ordained this day and all that it will bring Therefore I will praise You, And I will rejoice in the moments to come. In the presence of my troubles O Lord You have given me great joy. In the companionship of struggles You have lifted my head and filled me with peace. You are my refuge, my strength and shield Truly O Lord You are my salvation and my greatest reward. - Sandeep

A few months ago we decided we needed to shift house. Various reasons precipitated this decision and we put the word out among friends and agents alike. What followed was a frustrating few months wherein we encountered the reality of inflation within the property sector of our economy. What we needed seemed to hover just outside our budget and what we could afford hovered just outside our needs. The whole time though (because we seemed so agonizingly close to finding a new home) we left things at home go unrepaired or not dealt with. After a few weeks of inspecting houses and meeting landlords we were mentally prepared for a new place. We stopped really caring too much about our house and were thinking of the new place. Furniture needed to be bought, things needed painting or repair but everything and every investment was put off till we moved to our new place. It’s the 4 th month running and we've not yet moved!!! Before this becomes a rant let me share a les...

Every morning somewhere after 11am the Kooda man arrives. For those who don’t know what I am talking about – kooda man is the colloquial term for the garbage disposal man. He rings our doorbell and collects the bag or bags of garbage we may have. Now our garbage can range between left over food, fruit skins and seeds, random weird dirt from the house and quite regularly a couple of rather nasty smelly nappies (diapers). They usually sit in the bin through the night waiting to be collected the next morning when the “kooda man” comes. There have been days however when either he did not come or we went out and forgot to leave the garbage out for him to collect. I will confess that it is more often the latter and very few times the former that occurs. On unfortunate days like this, there’s a subtle stench that begins to waft from that corner of the kitchen and we are reminded of how important a task it is to meet the kooda man and give him that bag of assorted smells and substances eve...

The Gospel of the Kingdom It’s no secret that this world and its systems leave us dissatisfied, stressed, worried, depressed, hurt and bitter. In fact there are a lot more negative adjectives that could be added on to this list if I took the time. The kingdom of this world runs much like how scientists espouse evolution ran – the survival of the fittest. In previous times fittest was defined by physical stature. In our times however the rules have changed and the fittest are now defined by intellectual and financial power. But the truth that streets of the kingdom of this world are strewn with people wallowing in poverty still remains. They are poor financially, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. They are seeking another kingdom, a different kind of kingdom. We know that the kingdom of heaven – the kingdom of God is vastly different from this kingdom of the world. We know that the rules of worth and survival and importance in that kingdom are not in any way similar to ours...

In the morning Lord I know Your grace, The sun reminds me of Your kindness. The falling dew speaks of Your love, It speaks of the freshness of Your love. You surround me with Your glory And fill my heart with worship. You saturate my mind with Your thoughts And cause my mouth to overflow with Your praise. In the morning Lord, I know Your peace Through the day I will enjoy Your presence. I will meditate on Your word and commands I will take confidence in Your promises I will walk in strength and obedience I will take refuge in You when I am unsteady And will wait on You to strengthen my hands. In the morning Lord, I know Your strength, For in You alone do I trust and in You I am made complete. - Sandeep Samuel Christian

If not for Your love O Lord Where would I be? But for Your grace O Lord I might have been a self-made man. But You planted my feet On Your unshakeable word. You have forgiven my wrong-doings According to Your unfailing love. You have hidden my life In Your undefeatable hands. If not for Your love O Lord Where would I be? But for Your grace O Lord I might have been a self-made man. - Sandeep Samuel Christian

(An anglicised version of a regular conversation between me and an auto driver) Me                          : Is your meter working? Driver                    : where do you want to go? Me                          : Vasant Kunj. Driver                   : Meter’s not working, it’ll cost 200rs. Me                         : No chance. Driver                   : ok, bye then...

We live in an imperfect world and no one will debate that. The only part of a newspaper that you can open without expecting bad news anymore is the comics section and even that seems to be filled with sarcasm and negativity at times. A walk down the road of my city or any city for that matter will show off the wide chasm that exists between the haves and the have nots of our world and to the especially prone ones a burden will be placed on our heart for the latter. I live in Delhi; polluted, brown, smoggy, dusty, crowded and always under construction Delhi. Sometimes (okay, many times) I wonder why life has to be so difficult and so tiresome and hurtful.  In the midst of all this dreariness and the cloud of the mundane that shrouds our society the moment I pick up my camera things change. The really gifted photographer’s eye you see has a remarkable ability to find beauty in almost all he sees. To him a walk down the street of a crowded marketplace might just lead to an ...

If God loves why will He not heal my wife’s cancer? If God loves why would allow my husband to be laid off for so long? If God loves He’d help me make it through this exam. This God thing doesn’t make sense! I have yet to come across a valid water tight argument for the case of God!! Can you prove the resurrection? Biblical exclusivity versus post-modern pluralism, I see more sense in the latter show me why the former is better!! These are just some samples of some statements that I have come across in the 17 years I have walked with Jesus. The world around is full of these and many more like these and the Church is pressured to come up with answers. As I turn on God tv and as I browse through articles of Church growth and testimonies I see many healers and healings around the world. It strikes me there are many who come to God seeking a sign, healing, providence etc. I find that there are many churches and individuals who cater to that sector of people. I also find many...

A long time ago I remember a friend telling me a joke and it was hilarious. So hilarious that I laughed out and laughed for long. Years later I have mastered the art of a straight face while my fingers type “LOL”. The point – how authentic is my communication? If we were to take a slow look around us we would find people who merely exist or inhabit the physical world but live in a virtual one. They sit in the presence of 30 colleagues but their conversations happen in a virtual what’s app or google talk world. I have been guilty of having a “deep” conversation online with someone who thinks they have my full undivided attention while the truth is there is another chat-box open with another friend over the most trivial and meaningless of things. That’s the beauty of the internet after all. No one can see me and I remain in control of my conversations and interactions. I don’t have to be part of a group if I don’t want to and I can leave any conversation at any time without any reason of...

A few Sundays ago we had a church member share about the incredible work of Trans World Radio. As he recounted their work and ministry I was struck by the number of languages that were there and the number that this organisation had already managed to reach. I live in India - a country of over a thousand different dialects. It’s a monumentally staggering figure for a country that accounts for a small percentage of world landmass. I thought about that a bit but the conversations and itinerary for the day slowly pushed it out of my mind. Later that evening though I attended the missions conference finale held at our church building. My good friend and brother was leading worship there and for the first time I had the privilege of participating in a half hour powerful worship time that spanned three different languages. It brought me back to thinking about languages. What a beautifully colourful and diverse thing it is. Each dialect has its own beauty and can say something in a better w...

Winters are awesome for formal wear. I love the suits and coats that you can wear without feeling like parts of you were melting away in secret. Unfortunately though winter is ebbing away in Delhi and summer has already shown the tips of its heated tentacles. I decided I was going to get a few more suited days in before it became just plain silly. So, this Saturday I pulled out a nice coat and white shirt and went for service. Now if you know me you know that white shirts and me are not the best of friends - especially when it comes to meal times. Saturdays lunch seemed all too familiar and predictable in its unfolding of events. I was eating chicken curry and rice and sure enough towards the last bit of my meal I dropped my guard for that one regrettable moment and a blob of curry made its way to my lovely shirt. I dabbed it away as much as I could. I managed to make it smaller (miraculously) but it was not going to hide itself. I resigned myself to thinking “It’s so small no-one’s g...